poor blog

jumperband

Poor blog.

It has been terribly neglected. I keep changing my mind about its existence. Maybe life is just a little more busy at the moment than it usually is. I have given up on resolutions (aims) regarding frequency of posts. Maybe I will make a better effort next year.

When I began the blog, I had decided that I would no longer email a friend who lives in the same city, but I had not seen for seven years despite many suggestions of meeting for coffee, at times and locations that would suit her. I used to email her and not be bothered that I was not seeing her because she had depression, and assumed there was something about me that had her not wanting to meet up with me, yet wanting to maintain contact through email. However, she was meeting up with plenty of others, particularly over the last two or three years, so I decided it was time to end the relationship (in that wimpy delayed response to emails way, rather than through a direct message), and by Christmas it was over.

I assumed the time I had spent emailing her could be spent writing blog posts. Hahaha.

My friend with a brain tumour (diagnosed over nine years ago, so pretty amazing) has reached the manky stage, where it is affecting his mobility, and he requires more frequent treatment, and needs to avoid exposure to infectious agents. So instead of writing blog posts, I have been writing emails to him. He has been largely housebound. I know he spends a lot of time on the couch, in front of the television, and I find that unbearable. My mother used to burst into the lounge room when we were children, asking “What are you doing?” and then noticing us looking at the television, would answer the question herself, in one of two ways: “Oh, nothing” or “Wasting time again”. I cannot believe how much I have been influenced by that. So I indulge in crazy email composition, hoping I will motivate my friend to shuffle outside to breathe some fresh air, enjoy what little sun there is, watch some birds, and so on. Or that I will just remind him that he is still alive, that he is not just some blob on a couch absorbing whatever is shown on the screen in front of him. I don’t want him to ‘waste’ the rest of his life. And in all that, I am very much aware of how judgemental I am being, with my idea of what constitutes living and what does not. So I do not mind that he does not respond to my emails, or at least not very often. He is going through one of the many versions of ‘unimaginably horrible’. At least with email, if I am annoying, he can just delete the messages, unread.

So I am undecided about the blog. There is always too much to do.

I did pull out the jumper I was knitting, just after I wrote about it. I cast it on again, knit the band, then noticed I didn’t feel like working on it. I was sick of it, and it seemed to take so long to knit around to the marker. So I set it aside, and very quickly knit a jumper for my son – his classroom is not heated, and he has noticed that his jumper is much warmer than his polar fleece jacket (probably washed too often), so he needed a second one to accommodate washing needs. I returned to my jumper, knitted more than halfway to the armholes, decided it was too big, and pulled it out again. I think it will be okay this third time. I changed the band, and I am happier with it, and not bothered by the knitting.

Crochet squares keep appearing too, even though I am not sure when I am making them. Just a few minutes here and there.

crochetsquares

This square:

4 ch ring

Rnd 1: 12 treble (or equivalent) in ring

Rnd 2: 2 treble (or equivalent) in gap between each treble of first round

Rnd 3: (2treble, 3 chain, 2 treble) in first space; (2 half treble) in next 2 spaces – repeat to beginning of round.

Note: round 3 can look better this way:   (2 treble, 2 chain, 2 treble) in first space, (1 chain, 2 half treble) in next 2 spaces, 1 chain – repeat to beginning of round.

I just wanted 11 stitches per side for compatibility with the other squares I have crocheted, so mine are the less attractive version. And ‘equivalent’ is shorthand for all that writing about starting a round with two or three chain instead of a treble. It makes patterns messy for me. Similarly, rounds end with a slip stitch, to complete them.

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